... staring at a microscope for two hours than desperately trying to memorize all the bones - and all the names of each divet and process in each bone.
... at home doing dishes and scrubbing floors than studying for the exam.
... studying for 5 hours than earning 60 bucks at work for the same amount of time.
... on a tropical beach hearing the waves, feeling the sun, with a pina colada in my hand than studying.
... spending time with Catherine and Stephen than any of the above.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Study break
A quick update for this mother's load while I take a much-needed study break:
Thanks, friends, for the supportive words. No word yet if there are any drastic changes in the future. I had a second bit of a breakdown today. I have an exam tomorrow that I'm not feeling prepared for, I had to skip choir rehearsal just to study, I have to let my mom down because I have too much going on to help her move, and I had to cancel hanging out with friends this weekend too. I feel like I'm having to disappoint everyone around me, while I still don't feel like I'm getting everything done. Stephen is trying to understand and is being as supportive as possible. But I'm so stressed right now; I'm not sure what will happen.
House hunting - we might have a house! Not the first one that we put an offer on - that just wound up being too much in all the wrong places. This one really seems to be working. We put in an offer and they accepted! Next is the house inspection - unless they find something that is worth breaking the deal, we'll be moving in by Thanksgiving! Wow! We are so excited, but nervous for the inspection. It's an older house, so who knows what may show up.
I can't go into huge details about it now, but there will be more to come. We're calling it the country house because it has a great country feel about it. What do you think? No, seriously - what do you think? I'm excited to share, but nervous about making such a big decision. Any thoughts?
Anyways - that's enough for now. I'm not sure that my brain could handle much more at this time. I'm going to get back to studying now and hope that my head won't explode. WIsh me luck.
Thanks, friends, for the supportive words. No word yet if there are any drastic changes in the future. I had a second bit of a breakdown today. I have an exam tomorrow that I'm not feeling prepared for, I had to skip choir rehearsal just to study, I have to let my mom down because I have too much going on to help her move, and I had to cancel hanging out with friends this weekend too. I feel like I'm having to disappoint everyone around me, while I still don't feel like I'm getting everything done. Stephen is trying to understand and is being as supportive as possible. But I'm so stressed right now; I'm not sure what will happen.
House hunting - we might have a house! Not the first one that we put an offer on - that just wound up being too much in all the wrong places. This one really seems to be working. We put in an offer and they accepted! Next is the house inspection - unless they find something that is worth breaking the deal, we'll be moving in by Thanksgiving! Wow! We are so excited, but nervous for the inspection. It's an older house, so who knows what may show up.
I can't go into huge details about it now, but there will be more to come. We're calling it the country house because it has a great country feel about it. What do you think? No, seriously - what do you think? I'm excited to share, but nervous about making such a big decision. Any thoughts?
Anyways - that's enough for now. I'm not sure that my brain could handle much more at this time. I'm going to get back to studying now and hope that my head won't explode. WIsh me luck.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
time management
Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize that you may be over your head? Oh boy...
Here's my attempt at organizing my life.
My current responsibilities (and I'm just going for bigger categories here, not individual items on my to do list):
- Catherine (being able to spend time with her, waking up, bed time, shuffling to and from daycare, and overall being the best mom possible)
- School (8-12 hours of class a week plus an additional 15-20 hours a week needed for studying)
- Home (daily chores, overall care, paying bills, food shopping - whatever is necessary to live in a clean and healthy home and have healthy food to eat. At least as much as possible. If you could see our home right now, you'd know that cleaning is not high on the prioroty list. But it needs to be healthy.)
- Work (20-25 hours a week, plus 1 hour a day minimum in commuting)
Not listed: choir, personal care, exercise (ha!), time with Stephen, time with friends and family, and never mind the things that I would prefer to do on my own if I ever had time to myself. Also coming up: holidays and - hello! - MOVING!
It's only the 3rd week of school, but I'm beginning to think "how much longer can I keep this up?" I'm feeling guilty about not spending enough time at home with Stephen and Catherine. Because my class is in the middle of the day, I work evenings and weekends - the only time that Stephen is home.
I generally get 1-2 hours with Catherine in the morning, which constitutes breakfast and getting ready. Then I drop her off before class and Stephen picks her up at the end of the day. After class I head to work with maybe a bit of time for studying in between. I get home between 9-10pm; Catherine of course is already asleep and there's barely time for a debriefing with Stephen before he gets to bed.
This isn't every single day, but it's often enough that I'm going out of my mind. What do I do? If I want to spend more time with Catherine, I often don't get to study as much as I need to. If I need more time to study, I might even call in sick to work. Where does it stop? I'm in school to get a good career and help support my family in the future. I'm working to help bring income in to help support my family now. And I'm with Catherine - well, that needs no explaining. I feel like either way I go, I'm betraying my family.
I told Stephen last night that I've been thinking about that time when I need to stop working to focus on Catherine and school, and realizing that time may be coming sooner than I planned. I think I freaked him out, and for good reason. I don't bring in much money, but we're talking about buying a house. I could see dollar figures pass through his head as the panic threatened to set in, but he was trying to be supportive with the words coming out of his mouth.
My priorities are clear - work is at the bottom of the list, but then I'm not helping with our family income like we need. What to do?
No, seriously. What do I do?
Here's my attempt at organizing my life.
My current responsibilities (and I'm just going for bigger categories here, not individual items on my to do list):
- Catherine (being able to spend time with her, waking up, bed time, shuffling to and from daycare, and overall being the best mom possible)
- School (8-12 hours of class a week plus an additional 15-20 hours a week needed for studying)
- Home (daily chores, overall care, paying bills, food shopping - whatever is necessary to live in a clean and healthy home and have healthy food to eat. At least as much as possible. If you could see our home right now, you'd know that cleaning is not high on the prioroty list. But it needs to be healthy.)
- Work (20-25 hours a week, plus 1 hour a day minimum in commuting)
Not listed: choir, personal care, exercise (ha!), time with Stephen, time with friends and family, and never mind the things that I would prefer to do on my own if I ever had time to myself. Also coming up: holidays and - hello! - MOVING!
It's only the 3rd week of school, but I'm beginning to think "how much longer can I keep this up?" I'm feeling guilty about not spending enough time at home with Stephen and Catherine. Because my class is in the middle of the day, I work evenings and weekends - the only time that Stephen is home.
I generally get 1-2 hours with Catherine in the morning, which constitutes breakfast and getting ready. Then I drop her off before class and Stephen picks her up at the end of the day. After class I head to work with maybe a bit of time for studying in between. I get home between 9-10pm; Catherine of course is already asleep and there's barely time for a debriefing with Stephen before he gets to bed.
This isn't every single day, but it's often enough that I'm going out of my mind. What do I do? If I want to spend more time with Catherine, I often don't get to study as much as I need to. If I need more time to study, I might even call in sick to work. Where does it stop? I'm in school to get a good career and help support my family in the future. I'm working to help bring income in to help support my family now. And I'm with Catherine - well, that needs no explaining. I feel like either way I go, I'm betraying my family.
I told Stephen last night that I've been thinking about that time when I need to stop working to focus on Catherine and school, and realizing that time may be coming sooner than I planned. I think I freaked him out, and for good reason. I don't bring in much money, but we're talking about buying a house. I could see dollar figures pass through his head as the panic threatened to set in, but he was trying to be supportive with the words coming out of his mouth.
My priorities are clear - work is at the bottom of the list, but then I'm not helping with our family income like we need. What to do?
No, seriously. What do I do?
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Name change
I love the new name I finally picked for my blog. It's all incompassing of my life at this time - the load of everything that comes with being a mom. Because even though I have so many plates on my table right now, the brightest and prettiest of those plates is my little girl. So "the mother load". That's my life. =)
results
So yeah, I kicked the exam's ass. Missed only one question - 98%. Not that I like tooting my own horn, though. ;) It's quite a relief considering that I have been pretty wound up about this class.
Update also on the house hunting. We're probably passing on the house that we first put an offer on. They still haven't given us an answer and really aren't being upfront about the process. Our realtor doesn't like it and neither do we. Stephen's dad came out to help with a pre-inspection inspection of sorts. It's the bonus of having a structural engineer in the family. He pointed out some things about the house that we didn't notice at first. And in discussing it more, we realized that all the "little" things that we wanted to do to the house were really adding up. The reality is that we don't have a lot of time or money to do a ton of work on a house.
So... back to the drawing board. But we hadn't really abandoned the drawing board in the first place. We've seen a handful more houses. We'll see some more and see how it goes.
Update also on the house hunting. We're probably passing on the house that we first put an offer on. They still haven't given us an answer and really aren't being upfront about the process. Our realtor doesn't like it and neither do we. Stephen's dad came out to help with a pre-inspection inspection of sorts. It's the bonus of having a structural engineer in the family. He pointed out some things about the house that we didn't notice at first. And in discussing it more, we realized that all the "little" things that we wanted to do to the house were really adding up. The reality is that we don't have a lot of time or money to do a ton of work on a house.
So... back to the drawing board. But we hadn't really abandoned the drawing board in the first place. We've seen a handful more houses. We'll see some more and see how it goes.
Monday, October 6, 2008
first exam
I just finished my first exam for a&p about 15 minutes ago. We have a short break before resuming lecture (seriously - I'm brain dead enough right now). I feel like a true 21st century student. I am sitting cross-legged in the hallway with my laptop and wireless access. I'm enjoying jamming to some good Billy Joel tunes with my mp3 player that is clipped to my jacket. My cell lies beside me, as that's my primary timekeeper these days. I'm wired up and ready to go.
(end tangent)
Anyways, I was saying about my test. It was actually much less difficult than I thought it would be and I think I did pretty well. (crossing fingers) We'll see how that compares to the actual number on my score.It still doesn't change how much my brain is hurting right now. Ugh.
... we didn't start the fire... though we didn't light it but we tried to fight it...
(end tangent)
Anyways, I was saying about my test. It was actually much less difficult than I thought it would be and I think I did pretty well. (crossing fingers) We'll see how that compares to the actual number on my score.
... we didn't start the fire... though we didn't light it but we tried to fight it...
Thursday, October 2, 2008
REGISTER
The election is only 33 days away! This may seem like you have plenty of time to register to take part in the voting, but did you know that many state's deadlines are VERY soon? For example, Washington state's deadline is in 2 DAYS!
If you're already registered, good for you! If not, it's time. I don't care who you vote for. OK, I care a little bit ;) But I certainly won't tell you who to vote for. I just think it's important that you get out there and vote.
Don't know where to go? Let me help!
State-by-state information for deadlines and links for registering:
http://www.eac.gov/voter/docs/state-reg-deadlines.xls/attachment_download/file
Not sure if you're registered? Washington state has a great site to check your status, and other states should too - you can follow those states at the link above. But here's Washington's link:
http://wei.secstate.wa.gov/OSOS/VoterVault/Pages/MyVote.aspx
A great site for voting women: links for registering, education, and checking issues:
http://www.lwv.org/Election2008/index.html
If you can't find information for how to vote through your state's site, here's the link for the national registration form:
http://www.eac.gov/files/voter/nvra_update.pdf
Get out there! Register! Vote! If you need help, answers, or support, it is out there. Let's make this a great turnout!
If you're already registered, good for you! If not, it's time. I don't care who you vote for. OK, I care a little bit ;) But I certainly won't tell you who to vote for. I just think it's important that you get out there and vote.
Don't know where to go? Let me help!
State-by-state information for deadlines and links for registering:
http://www.eac.gov/voter/docs/state-reg-deadlines.xls/attachment_download/file
Not sure if you're registered? Washington state has a great site to check your status, and other states should too - you can follow those states at the link above. But here's Washington's link:
http://wei.secstate.wa.gov/OSOS/VoterVault/Pages/MyVote.aspx
A great site for voting women: links for registering, education, and checking issues:
http://www.lwv.org/Election2008/index.html
If you can't find information for how to vote through your state's site, here's the link for the national registration form:
http://www.eac.gov/files/voter/nvra_update.pdf
Get out there! Register! Vote! If you need help, answers, or support, it is out there. Let's make this a great turnout!
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